~Victor Borge

Hopefully, I can get away with less for a majority of them…

So, the Christmas season is upon us like a strong, lonely man in a federal prison. The Marine Corps seems to view Christmas cheer as a joke that only faggots and boots embrace. I, for one, have not been one to eagerly embrace the atmosphere in recent years due to the overwhelmingly commercial stampede that comes around just after Halloween and doesn’t let up until after Valentine’s Day, only to pick up again for Spring Break then roll right into Summer.

This Christmas, however, with all of us being so far from home, I felt that a small, if laughable, morale boost was in order. I purchased a bunch of boot socks and filled them with various candies that were sent to me by the American Legion back home. I then proceeded to pass them out all over the offices and spouting Merry Christmases all over the place. Some laughed with joy, others with annoyance, some just stared at me like I was a retard. Whatever. Their loss, not mine.

I also did it for myself. It was a nice distraction and change of pace to do something well intentioned for people I generally dislike. Especially the ones that dislike me. They didn’t know what to do with it.

It also distracted me from the distance that’s between me and my family this season. If I can make some of the folks here a little brighter for just a few seconds then I feel a bit brighter for a few minutes. It’s nice. The ones that I know appreciated it are the ones I’ll keep in my mind for the next few days.

I hope you all have a great holiday season. Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, non-denominational family get together, Merry Christmas, whatever you celebrate, from me to you. Celebrate twice as hard for those of us that will dance with our memories until we can do it in person. If you hug someone, do it a little tighter. If you kiss someone, fill it with all of the love you can muster for him/her. If you sing, sing loud. If you sing Elvis, sing extra loud with your best exaggerated impression and do his hip thrust, leg wiggle thingy.

Also, if someone wishes you a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or whatever and you aren’t of that belief, suck it up, accept the greeting and reply with your own. just be happy, cocksuckers. You can be happy cocksuckers, too, if you want, but that’s none of my business.

Like how I ended a relatively nice posting with ‘cocksuckers’? Three times?

Merry Happy times, people!

EDIT: Die Hard is the best holiday movie ever.