I was checking out my online USMC record to see if my 2nd Sea Service award had hit the system yet and if I needed to go get the necessary colorful accessories to designate my superiority over the singular pond crossers (don’t get me started on the non-pond crossers). It hit and I was satisfied, but, I noticed an addition.

I got my “Good Cookie” award, which is awarded to military members for not getting into trouble.

Let that settle in for a second.

I was given a shiney new award for doing… nothing. There was absolutely nothing I did to deserve a reward. The fact that there even exists such an award has to mean that there is a sizable portion of our military that doesn’t get this. Kind of disheartening.

Now, there’s definitely more upsetting things, like the mother fuckers that get medals for not fucking up their designated jobs… That’s definitely worse. I just feel that this isn’t something that should be necessary to keep people in line, which it doesn’t do anyway.

Regardless of my feelings about it GRATUITOUS FLAUNTERY